Emotional Intelligence.

We all have different personalities, we have different characters, wants, needs, ideas, preferences, ambitions and perceptions of people, ideas, objects and concepts. In order to navigate without friction and causing hurt and offence, we need to have the wisdom and techniques in order to this. Human beings are emotional beings and emotions can be stimulated to have happiness, contentment or anger and resentment. The plethora of emotions being many. Therefore, what is that we need to have in order to accomplish the task of dealing with people without generating negative feelings but instead feelings of gladness and contentment? Hence, the knowledge of emotional intelligence gives us the ability to negotiate our way through the maze of human thought and emotions with tact, patience and skill which will lead us to understanding ourselves and other people.

    Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to recognize our emotions, understand what they are telling us, and realize how our emotions affect the people around us and their emotions. Emotional intelligence also involves our perceptions of others: when we understand how they feel, it allows us to manage relationships more effectively. 

   Emotional intelligence begins with ourselves when we recognize and understand our emotions and what they tell ,us and then realize the impact that they have on other people. By having emotional intelligence. What is that emotional intelligence brings to us? When we have emotional intelligence we will be successful in dealing with people. 

    When someone has emotional intelligence, they will be successful in everything they do. This being so because they know how to address their emotions, wants and desires with the emotions, wants and desires of others. They know how to be patient and listen actively to people and this is then reciprocated by the people with whom they deal with. People with emotional intelligence foster feelings of happiness and feeling good about themselves. Such people always get help, get things done through others, get assistance and cooperation and all these without upsetting other people.

    There are six characteristics of emotional intelligence. 

1. Self-Awareness: When someone has emotional intelligence, they aware of their emotions and are in full of them. They do not display emotional outbursts, but instead remain calm and confident. They have trust in their intuition. Such people are humble enough to take a close look at themselves. They are cognizant of their strengths and weaknesses, and they can work on these areas so they can perform better. Self-awareness is held to be the most integral component of emotional intelligence.
2. Self-Regulation: Emotionally intelligent people able to control their emotions and impulses by means of self-regulation. They do not allow feeling of anger, jealousy or bitterness to take hold of them. They do not make impulsive thoughtless careless decisions. These are people characterized by thinking before they act. By being self-regulatory they are thoughtful, comfortable with change, possess integrity and the ability to say no.
3. Self-Motivation: Self-motivation means that one motivates oneself rather than having others motiving them. There is an internal drive to succeed, achieve, produce, develop, grow and keep advancing. These people do not quit when difficulties arise. They seek opportunities to move forward.  Such people willingly defer immediate success for long term gains. Self-motivating people are always optimistic, love challenges, and are effective in everything they do.
4. Empathy: Emotional intelligence requires empathy. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around us. People who are empathetic are good at recognizing other people' feelings, even if those feelings are not obvious. A person who has empathy is usually good at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. A person with empathy avoids prejudging people, eschews stereotyping people. They lead open and honest lives.
5. Social Skills: People who are emotionally intelligent are amiable and easy to talk to. They are team players. They pay focus on their success first and then help others to develop and shine. They have the ability to manage disputes, are master communicators, and are expert at building and maintaining relationships. 

It can be clearly seen so far that emotional intelligence can be a key to success in life and career. It is all about the being able to manage people and relationships which are key to success in leadership.

The question now is how do we improve on our emotional intelligence.

1. Paying attention to how we react towards people. We must ask if we rush into making judgements about people before knowing all the facts? Do we stereotype people? We must look honestly at how we think and interact with other people. We should put ourselves in their place. We must be more open and accepting of the perspectives of others and their needs;
2. Looking at our work environment. Do we seek attention for the things we do? Are we humble enough to say only what we know and what we did and remain quietly confident about it? Do we give others a chance to shine? Do we put focus on them and not worry too much about getting praise ourselves?;
3. Do a self-evaluation. We should see what are our weaknesses. Are we able to accept that we are imperfect and that we cannot work at becoming a better person? We need the courage and fortitude to take an honest look at ourselves. This can be life changing;
4. Examining how we react in stressful situations. Suppose there is a delay or there is something that does not go the way we wanted or we are in a rush, do we become upset? Do we become enraged? Do we blame others or become angry at them, even if they are faultless? The ability to remain calm and in control in taxing situations then become valuable in the working world and outside it. We must keep our emotions contained when developments go wrong;
5. Taking responsibility for our actions. Do we apologize directly when we hurt somebody's feelings? Do we ignore what we did or avoid that person? We will that people will usually forgive and forget if we make an honest attempt to make things right;
6. Examining how our actions affect others before we take those actions. If we have a decision to make, we should put ourselves in other peoples' shoes. We must ask ourselves how will they feel if we do this? Do we want that experience? if we must take the action, how can we help others to deal with the effects?

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